If E.T. Stopped By My House On His Way Home And Asked Me, An Israeli Jew, About Jews in America

Sometimes it is worthwhile to pretend we are from somewhere else so we can get a few straight answers around here

Wait, is E.T. wearing a prayer shawl?
Copyright: Zarateman [CC0]

E.T.: What are Jews?

Me: If you ever want to go home, we’ll skip that one.

E.T.: Can you tell who is Jewish?

Me: In America, usually yes, by their physiognomy and their last names.

E.T.: Are there many Jews in America?

Me: Nobody knows… maybe six million, maybe five, about 1.5% of the general population.

E.T.: So why is everybody talking about Jews?

Me: Because Jews occupy a very significant portion of the American elites in business, the professions, academia, government and politics, in short, everywhere except the military.

E.T.: Really? How significant a portion?

Me: Maybe a quarter to a third.

E.T.: Amazing! Still a rather small minority, though. Still doesn’t answer my question.

Me: And because this significant minority tends to act in unison, pulling America in a certain direction.

E.T.: Which direction?

Me: The progressive direction.

E.T.: What is this progressive direction?

Me: (Sigh). It is a direction that goes from a godly constitutional republic to a godless communist dictatorship.

E.T.: What is a godly constitutional republic?

Me: A system of government of the people, by the people, and for the people, when said people believe in a morally just higher power and behave accordingly.

E.T.: What is a communist dictatorship?

Me: A communist dictatorship is a system of government in which brainwashed masses are enslaved by grey and nameless elites who benefit from their labor.

E.T.: Sounds like Jews are moving America in the wrong direction.

Me: Yes.

E.T.: Why?

Me: Because they think that they will be at the top of those nameless elites and because they hate regular Americans and think they should have no say in how their country is governed.

E.T.: How are the Jews moving America is this undesirable direction?

Me: By destroying the Americans’ faith in God, followed by the destruction of the American family, followed by the destruction of American sexual morality, followed by addicting Americans to opioids, pornogrpahy, video games, and cheap imported goods, all amounting to destroying the Americans’ self-confidence, morality, and both mental and physical toughness.

E.T.: Doesn’t sound like that alone could do it.

Me: Oh and also they flood America with people form parts of the world where all they have ever experienced are corrupt totalitarian dictatorships like the ones they want to build in America.

E.T.: That ought to do it. Are all Jews in this together?

Me: No. About two thirds of them.

E.T.: What about the other third?

Me: They mind their own business or they oppose the actions of the Jewish majority

E.T.: Are Americans aware of the actions of the majority of the Jews?

Me: More and more so.

ET: Are Jews aware that they are aware?

Me: More and more so.

E.T.: Don’t the Jews care that there is this resentment being built up towards them?

Me: No.

E.T.: Why?

Me: Because they have forgotten the lessons of very recent history, including the history of their own grandparents and great-grandparents.

E.T.: What history?

Me: That Jews are never fully accepted in any place of exile and that being highly visible in their places of exile can be a contributing factor to their own genocide.

E.T.: Exile?

Me: Yes, Jews have a homeland called Israel where about half of them live. The rest live in exile.

E.T.: Why do they live in exile? Can’t they go home, like me?

Me: They can, but they choose not to, for now.

ET: Why?

Me: Because many of them have not set foot in their homeland for two thousand years and because they are comfortable where they are.

E.T.: Why have the Jews forgotten the lessons of history?

Me: Because they are drunk with power and cannot think straight. They just cannot believe that what happened to their grandfathers and grandmothers can happen to them.

E.T.: So most Jews in America are evil power-hungry megalomaniacs who want to lord it over everyone else?

Me: Oy

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jim December 5, 2019 at 3:03 pm

and the western jews are always kvetching about how Israel is the root cause of antisemitism.

Staff December 5, 2019 at 3:22 pm


Frank Moore December 5, 2019 at 5:42 pm

This sympathetic Goy remembers with chuckles views of Knesset sessions where the delegates exchanged views with lively animation.
These are an unusually talented, tough and scrappy people.
Where I’m GOING with this is that Jews appear to be as DIFFERENT from each other as members of ANY OTHER ethnic/religious/genetic community (if not MORE so!).
I close by high-jacking the words of a Russian hymn,
“LORD, save thy PEOPLE!”.
WHEREVER they are!


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